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Credits

Hello. Thanks for looking at this page, it shows you really care! :)

These songs used to be available on 3 separate CDs called

Unless otherwise stated, all songs written by Jay Foreman.

Unless otherwise stated, all songs feature Jay Foreman on vocal/guitar.

Darren Foreman (my brother) is better known as Beardyman, the UK beatboxing champion. Go to his website: www.beardyman.co.uk / www.myspace.com/beardyman

  1. The Coolest Dream
    Written: 6 July 2004
    Recorded: 10 October 2004 in my bedroom
    From: Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave

    My first song!! I wrote this while on a gap year in Paraguay. It was never originally meant to be funny. I wanted it to be a cute little song that made girls go "aaah", but eventually I put funny words in 'cos I discovered it's much easier and more fun to write.
  2. Little Japanese Baby
    Written: 10 August 2004
    Recorded: 22 January 2005 in Matt's house, York.
    Produced by Matt Clarke.
    From: Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave

    Again, written on my gap year, in a tent on the Inca trail in Peru. I came up with the title before deciding what it should be about and it is not based on a true story.
  3. Imagine If I Died
    Written: August 2006
    Recorded: January 2007 in my flat in Toulouse
    From: Flush, You Bastard!

    I came up with the idea when I was at my girlfriend's house. She was disgusted by it and left the room! About a year later, I thought it'd make a great song.
  4. Moon Chavs
    Written: December 2004
    Recorded: 22 January 2005 in Matt's house, York
    Produced by Matt Clarke
    From: Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave

    Backing vocals:
    Boys: Matt Clarke, Philip Dawes, Harry Evans,
    Girls: Emily Forster, Jemma Mallorie, Danielle Ryan, Jackie Walbank

    The song responsible for it all! I wrote it at home just before Christmas 2004. The last minute decision to have all my friends sing along with me on the chorus seems to be what made it so popular. Search "Moon Chavs" on Youtube to see disturbing evidence of this song's uncanny popularity over the last few years.
  5. Spirograph
    Written by me and Philip Dawes: 15 January 2005
    Recorded: January 2005 in Matt's house, York
    Produced by Matt Clarke.
    From: Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave

    Vocal/Guitar - Jay Foreman
    Vocal - Philip Dawes

    This is a musical fuck-around with my housemate Phil which became a song on the CD, cos it made us laugh so much.
  6. Buggery Club
    Written by me and Benjamin Davies: 7 August 2004
    Recorded: err... 2004? in Darren's house, Brighton
    Produced by Darren Foreman
    From: Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave

    Vocal/Guitar - Jay Foreman
    Keyboard/backing vocal (headmaster verse) - Darren Foreman
    Backing vocal - Melissa Cox

    "Buggery club" is a concept that my friend Ben (who went to public school) told us all about. On our gap year, we used to play a little theme tune every time Ben talked about buggery club, which inevitably turned into a full song.
  7. Matthew and Ben
    Written: October 2005
    Recorded: 29th December 2005 in Darren's house, Brighton
    Produced by Darren Foreman
    From: You Are NOT Superdog!

    Guitars / Vocal / Hairdryer - Jay Foreman
    Percussion (kitchen utensils) / Bass - Darren Foreman

    That hairdryer is not spontaneous. It was planned to go in the song from the very beginning. (I'd be lying if I said I can explain why.) My brother didn't have one in his house, so I popped next door to ask to borrow the neighbour's one and embarrassingly she asked me what I wanted it for.
  8. Cookies
    Written: ?? 2004
    Recorded: 22 January 2005, in Matt's house, York
    Produced by Matt Clarke.
    From: Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave

    The line "for breakfast lunch and tea" comes from the apparently famous Vegemite song (which I've never heard, but read about on wikipedia) and the idea of cookies being really important comes from The Matrix 3.
  9. No Christmas
    Written: December 2004
    Recorded 22 January 2005 in Matt's house, York
    Produced by Matt Clarke
    From: Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave

    This song was the secret track on Raisins Turn into Grapes in the Microwave. My friend Dan made a music video for this song for York Student TV.
  10. Captain Birdseye
    Written: 2005 (in the shower)
    Recorded: 29th December 2005 in Darren's house, Brighton
    Produced by Darren Foreman
    From: You Are NOT Superdog!

    Vocal: Jay Foreman
    Guitars/Bass/Beatboxing/live looping/guest vocal - Darren Foreman.

    This is Beardyman at his best! I basically sat back and watched while Darren beatboxed into his loop machine and created a 60s reggae song out of nowhere. And that's him too singing on the "seriously man" verse (slowed down to make him sound blacker).
  11. Balloon
    Written: ?? 2005
    Recorded: November 2005 in Matt's house, York
    Produced by Matt Clarke
    From: You Are NOT Superdog!

    I still have the a4 piece of paper I wrote this poem on one night when I was so very very stoned. I drew a balloon with a smiley face and had the handwriting of a 5 year old. I couldn't find a good tune for it, so I didn't.
  12. Stealing Food
    Written: October 2006
    Recorded: December 2006 in my flat in Toulouse
    From: Flush, You Bastard!

    Yes, it does sound almost exactly like "See My Vest" from the Simpsons - I only realised that after I'd recorded it. But I like this one anyway; it rhymes a lot.
  13. Deal or No Deal
    Written: March - June 2006
    Recorded: 17 June 2006 (at 12:41pm) in the URY studios
    From: Flush, You Bastard!

    Voice of Noel: Jay Foreman
    Voice of Dorothy: Paul Kendler
    Voice of TV exec/narrator: Philip Dawes
    Voice of Paul McKenna: Ben Morrow

    In second year, Phil and I used to have a radio show on University Radio York every Saturday called "The Interesting Adventures of Philip and Jay". No one except our very closest friends used to listen (and even they might have been lying) so we used to bring beers into the studio and let them take control of where the show was going. My friends Paul and Ben from Manchester uni were visiting so we let them in and together we recorded this poem.

    Thanks to URY! ury.york.ac.uk
  14. Martin Was a Monkey
    Written: 29th May 2005
    Recorded: in Darren's house, Brighton 29th December 2005
    Produced by Darren Foreman
    From: You Are NOT Superdog!

    Written the night before a very important exam. Originally a poem, as you can tell from the weak melody and unusually rigid syllable structure. There is a French version of this song (Martin était un singe). Email me if you'd like to hear it.
  15. Magnus Is On Fire
    "Written:" February 2007
    Recorded: February in my flat in Toulouse
    From: Flush, You Bastard!

    This song contains a sample used without permission from the theme tune to Simon and the Witch. (sue me!!)

    If you're not lucky enough to remember that show, here's a youtube link:
    uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Se70WTG6I3A

    There is a real Magnus and this is based on a true story (except the bit about the fire). This is the first (and last) time I've attempted using a sample to make a song.
  16. Days of the week
    Written: can't remember!
    Recorded: 9th April 2006 at Monkey Chews, Chalk Farm

    No song has ever gone down like such a lead balloon at a gig as this one here. I couldn't resist sharing this magical moment with all of you!
  17. Calypso:
    Written: May 2006
    Recorded February 2007 in my flat in Toulouse
    From: Flush, You Bastard!

    Despite the warning in the last chorus, I did originally get calypso confused with Calippo! For the first few days of this song's life it was called "Calippo" which fits the tune a lot better.
  18. Chained to a Radiator:
    Written: August 2006
    Recorded February 2007 in my flat in Toulouse
    From: Flush, You Bastard!

    This is the second time (after Little Japanese Baby) I've come up with a title first, then tried to write a song around it. The concept "chained to a radiator" comes from Stuart Lee. He once said in an interview that a good sitcom is funny no matter what the crazy situation is and that he'd love to set himself the challenge of writing a sitcom about two men in a basement chained to a radiator.
  19. Hundred Perfect Days
    Written: October 2005
    Recorded: November 2005/January 2006 in Matt's house, York (except vocal, 11 June 2007 in Edward Forth's house)
    Produced (except vocal) by Matt Clarke
    From: You Are NOT Superdog!

    Vocal/Guitar/Bass - Jay Foreman
    Guitar - Dan Young

    This is my attempt at a non-funny, "normal" song. Do you like it? My acoustic band, Little Yellow Birds played this at acoustic battle of the bands in 2005. I've been quite a perfectionist with this recording. (The guitars are from 2005, the bass is from 2006 and the vocal is from 2007!) I really hope you like this one.
  20. The Procrastinator
    Written: 1st May 2005
    Recorded: in Darren's house, Brighton 29th December 2005
    Produced by Darren Foreman
    From: You Are NOT Superdog!

    Procrastinator:
    Vocal: Jay Foreman
    Keyboard: Darren Foreman

    Don't Go on MSN!:
    Vocal/Keyboard: Jay Foreman
    Backing vocal/Effects: Darren Foreman
    Backing vocal: Melissa Cox

    Two songs really. The "don't go on MSN" section was originally a song called "It Would Be Horrible" about what would happen if a potato became prime-minister. Some of my housemates prefer that version.